Five years ago, Nigel and I were frantically trying to finish our house.  Our wedding was scheduled for June 18th and we had family flying over from England and Bulgaria, all expecting a bed and flushing toilets!  It was my dream to cook for our wedding, since I love cooking for a crowd, creating the menu, planning it all and watching it all come together.  What better time to do that than my own wedding with 200 guests. Of course, I hadn't planned on the house construction taking so long, but you know what, we got it together and we moved into our beautiful home with no minute to spare, and celebrated a very special day.  It took Nigel and I a long time to find each other, but we did and being married to such an extraordinary man has been a blessing and an honor.  I love him more every day.  At the time of our wedding, there was so much joy and excitement The house project was finished and we were starting our lives together, officially committed to one another, in front of all of our friends and family.  Little did we know that 6 months later we would face one of the toughest challenges a couple will ever have to face together, the start of a life with cancer.

The past couple of weeks I have posted the update on Nigel's health.  His most recent episode had become a little bit too distracting and a few things have been falling through the cracks here on the farm.  We wanted everyone to know that our commitment to what we do was not faltering and that there was an explanation (for instance not sending the box list out last Friday).  More importantly we do firmly believe there is great power in prayer, directed thought or meditation, whatever you believe in, it all helps.  And I knew if I asked, you all would send it.

Sadly I must share with you our most current "update".  Tuesday, we went in for a routine follow up with his radiologist.  She was concerned when we told her of his severe weakness, dizziness and headaches, so she called his regular oncologist to find out if they wanted to take a look at him.  It was decided to admit him that afternoon, MRI's were scheduled, along with loads of other tests.  The MRI's show cancer in his lower spine, the nerves, the spinal fluid and on the brain.  Hearing the words cancer on the brain just floored me.  I would say I have been pretty strong through all of this, but Wednesday morning when I was expecting Nigel to tell me, yes this is all very common, just the side effects of the drugs, I just felt so broken.

Thank goodness the boys are home.  They have been more than amazing, so strong, and so responsible.  They have shown a level of maturity that should never be required of them, but here we are.  The farm needs us to be strong and so we all pull each other up, we talk, we organize, we make lists, detail and delegate tasks and we make sure everything continues to run as smoothly as it can.  Nigel would be more than devastated if his illness caused the farm to  be less than what he has worked so hard for more than 20 years to create.  My son Cam is coming up this weekend to help out for this year's lavender harvest, and Elianna from Bay Leaf Kitchen is coming to guest chef to make sure all of the workers are fed.  Joyce, our faithful market queen, gets Nigel all the food his cravings desire (Arizmendi Pizza), and checks up on me multiple times a day. The entire Weidner family has given us a home away from home, and so has my friend Mark where Nigel stayed  during his radiation treatments.  Our entire crew has been working extra hard burdened by the stress of worrying about a man they have worked with for so many years.  We are shown so much love and support, it is at times overwhelming, but mostly it gives us the strength to put that foot forward, followed by the next foot.  

I have no idea how long Nigel will be at UCSF, he certainly won't be home before next week.  We also have no idea how he will handle the treatments, so I honestly don't know if he will be up for visitors or not.  I will post updates on the FB page when appropriate.

So for now, I ask for your continued prayers and healing thoughts, and
a little bit of patience if we miss something.  But please let us know if we do.  Again, I want to remind everyone of the Care Share Program, free CSA shares for those with serious illness or for their caregivers.  Contact Connie if you have someone who could benefit.  All farm events are still scheduled, so please, if you haven't gotten a ticket for at least one of the overnight events coming up, do that now!  Visiting the farm is the best way to connect to it, plus it is a fun time and perfect escape from crazy city life.  All event info is on the web page.  Lastly if you know of anyone who might be interested in joining a CSA we truly appreciate the referral!  Thanks all - Lorraine