One morning last year, I was sitting at my computer writing the newsletter. The sun was beginning to rise, and looking out our sliding doors the world was beautiful. Nigel and the boys had just left for his radiation treatment in SF.  “Waiting For My Real Life To Begin” by Colin Hay was playing on the stereo. I remember thinking how we are just waiting for our real life to begin after all the treatments were finished and Nigel was better.  A little more than a year later, I sit at my computer doing work, hearing the same song, realizing never did it occur to me that the real life would be a life without him. I know I have to keep going, I know this is my life now, but to be honest I am just so broken. Nigel and I met rather late in life, but we knew right away that we were always destined to be together, so it is impossible for me to understand how or why he was taken from us so soon. This man who gave so much to all of us, who was so open, and willing to share his knowledge, his passion, his love and his farm. It makes no sense to me. For all of you members who had the chance to meet him, especially those of you who knew him well, you know what I am talking about. How does this make any sense? Seriously, why him? There just is no bright side to this, but it is my life now. So I will take a deep breath, after the tears, listen to more music, and get back to work.  Tonight, it’s reconciling our checking account. And just to be clear, I have no option but to continue his work. He is in me, this was our life, and I will keep moving forward. Now, it is my life, and honestly, I have so many of you to thank for that. You really do make it worthwhile, you were always the reason Nigel lived this crazy life, and your love and support is why I will live this crazy life, because you have got my back.