I realize some of you aren’t aware of Nigel’s current condition.  We did send an email out about it, but I know that not everyone always has a chance to read the emails.  About 3 1/2 weeks ago Nigel was admitted to UCSF. Many tests were run and the conclusion was the cancer has once again attacked his brain.  Because this happened before (a year ago, almost exactly) and he had the full course of radiation then, he has had his lifetime limit. There are no drugs currently available that will slow the cancer and radiation is not an option. When they sent us home we were told he had one, maybe two months left.  


These past weeks have been, well really there are no words to describe how it has been.  We have all learned a lot, mostly about how to manage pain. That is something we have gotten quite good at. We have learned that marijuana extracts do a much better job of managing pain and seizures than the prescribed narcotics.  Once we switched Nigel to a CBD extract (almost exclusively), his seizures stopped and the bouts of intense pain he suffered through have stopped, at least for now. He is much more talkative, although most of time, what he says doesn’t make a lot of sense.  It is quite obvious that the thoughts going through his mind are about the farm. We hear him say things about lavender, tomatoes, chickens, or today he told me “he is doing an excellent job”.  Don't know who “he” is, but I am happy to know the work he is dong is excellent. He rolls his eyes when we ask too many questions, but then tells us it’s ok.  The greatest gifts are the big smiles we get from him many times a day.  


Watching him obviously working things out in his head, it is impossible to imagine he will not be with us someday soon. I still can’t believe it.  How is it possible that someone so strong, so full of passion for his life will be taken like this?


Many of you have sent us cards, emails and text messages.  I want to thank you all, they all mean so much to me.  I share them with Nigel when I can, mostly I have him look at the pretty pictures and tell him how much his CSA family loves him.  I let him know that all of you have told him that he has made their lives a little better. It would be great if some of you are able to keep him company. His parents have been here for 3 weeks now, but have to fly back to England soon. Cameron and I spend good portions of the day working, so we are not always free to go and sit with him. If you would like to visit Nigel please text me. My number is 530-554-3971.